


you might think it’s all in your head but you’re not certain anymore

by RagtimeCat



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dry Humping, F/M, Marijuana, Mildly Dubious Consent, No Pregnancy, Safe to Read if You're Triggered by Pregnancy, dubcon bc they're high as kites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 12:35:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RagtimeCat/pseuds/RagtimeCat
Summary: Rey can’t believe Ben has never smoked marijuana before. Ben’s not entirely certain it’s a good idea, given how he feels about her, but he’s not saying no to Rey.





	you might think it’s all in your head but you’re not certain anymore

**Author's Note:**

> For Pepsi and Pals Hardcore Kinktober, Day 7: Consent issues. Technically, you can't consent if you're intoxicated, even if you're just smoking weed with the best friend you've secretly been pining over since the day you met.

“I’m a little impressed that you made it to age thirty without ever having smoked weed,” Rey said. 

“I’m not thirty yet,” Ben pointed out. “I still have five more hours.”

Rey grinned at him and oh no, he had a bad feeling about this. “Ben Solo, are you suggesting we ring in your 30th birthday by getting really high and watching cartoons?” 

The thing was, it wasn’t that Ben was morally opposed to marijuana. Of course he hated the politics of the legalization movement, but he wasn’t opposed to people ingesting it for recreational purposes. He’d just never had the opportunity to do so. “Uh,” he said, stalling.

This was the tricky thing about the whole situation: Ben didn’t want to say no to Rey, because he was completely incapable of turning her down and he was a little curious as to why people cared so much about weed. But he didn’t want to say yes because the last thing he needed was to be around her while his defenses were down. It was not going to end well if he accidentally let it slip that he’d been madly in love with her practically since the day they’d met. 

Rey seemed to take his hesitation for a rejection, because she leaned back in her seat and held her hands up in mock surrender. “No pressure,” she said. “I promise. I don’t want to ask you to do something you’re not—“

“I’m in.” The words we’re out of his mouth before he could stop them. “So, what, do we go hang around the park, trying to score some weed?" 

Rey snorted. “Not anymore we don’t,” she said, pushing herself up off the couch. “Let me roll a joint and we can sit out on the fire escape and smoke it.”

Ben still had a lot of reservations about that plan, but he shrugged and said “Sounds good” as casually as he could manage. Rey gave him one last look like she was trying to gauge his reaction, but whatever she saw in his expression must have made her decide he was being serious. She returned a minute later holding a lighter in one hand and a hastily rolled joint in the other. “Come on,” she said. “It’s not too cold out right now.”

Ben followed her out onto the creaky fire escape just outside her kitchen window, carefully cramming himself through the frame. “It’s simple,” Rey said, settling down next to him. Ben tried to ignore the way that she was pressed against him on the narrow stairs in favor of listening to her talk. “Hold the joint between your lips, hold the lighter to the end of it, and suck.”

“I understand the basics,” Ben said, watching as she wrapped her lips around the end of the joint. She lit the lighter, inhaled, then held her breath as she passed the joint and the lighter to Ben. He paused, waiting to see if she was going to say anything else. She seemed unaware of the way he was watching her as she exhaled slowly, smoke curling into the night air.

_ Stop that, _ he admonished himself. _ We’ve been over this. There’s no way that Rey is into you. Accept that this is the best place for your relationship to be right now and move on. _

He’d been telling himself that for the better part of a year now, and he had yet to listen. 

“What are you waiting for?” Rey asked. 

Ben shrugged, figuring that she didn’t want to hear _ I was staring longingly at you like a creep_. He held the joint to his lips, which—_holy shit _ his lips were touching something Rey’s lips had just been on. That was a gross way to think about it and yet something about the realization made his dick twitch anyway.

Pushing thoughts of pathetic things to get a boner over aside, he lit the end of the joint and inhaled. Predictably, he did it wrong on the first try and got a lungful of smoke, hacking and coughing hard enough that his eyes watered. God, this was so embarrassing. 

Rey didn’t seem bothered by it. “You okay?” she asked, taking the joint from his hand before he could drop it. “We don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I’m fine,” Ben managed to get out between coughs. “Just need another minute. I’m not used to that.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

They passed the joint back and forth once Ben’s coughing had died down. By the time they were nearing the end of it, he was starting to feel a little strange. The ambient noise of the city around them sounded strange, things that normally faded to the background being made more prominent. Tactile sensations were strange as well. He was hyperaware of the way his clothing felt on his skin, and when Rey passed him the nearly finished joint, he swore that time stood still when their fingers brushed. He couldn’t tell if she felt it too; it was getting difficult to think straight. “I think we’re good now,” Rey said, standing up. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Strange. Everything feels different.” If she wasn’t going to bring up the finger brush, it was probably just something his mind had conjured. Wasn’t paranoia supposed to be a side effect of marijuana for some people?

She grinned at him. “I got Ben Solo stoned.”

“Was it a contest, or something?” Setting up a secret contest to make Ben do something he wouldn’t normally do was the kind of asshole move some of Rey’s friends would pull. 

Rey seemed to know where his thoughts were headed, because she said, “No, nothing like that. Come on, let’s go watch cartoons.”

He followed her inside, still hyperaware of how everything felt. As they settled on Rey’s couch, which had always felt a little cramped when both of them were sitting on it together, he couldn’t help but pay close attention to the way they were arranged. Did Rey always sit close enough to him that he could feel her body heat, or was this some paranoia? He tried to recall everything he’d been told about being high, but nothing occurred to him. 

Halfway through an episode of _ Disenchantment_, something else hit him. 

He was really, really horny. 

Okay, so this was often a problem when he was with Rey. It was difficult not to be affected by the sight of her in a loose shirt and yoga pants, her go-to “relaxing around the house and giving Ben a heart attack in the process” outfit. But the way every sensation was heightened right now was making it so much worse, and he found himself struggling to find a way to casually hide the erection he was now grappling with. He remembered too late that weed was an aphrodisiac for some people. 

Fuck. 

Rey must have noticed that something was wrong, because she turned towards him and said, “You feeling okay?” 

“Fine,” Ben said, sounding to his ears anything but.

“You sure?”

“Positive.” _ Quick, _ he told himself. _ Think of something, anything to keep Rey from looking down. _ “Isn’t weed supposed to make you really hungry?”

“Sometimes,” Rey said, giving him a look that he couldn’t parse at his level of intoxication. “Why, are you hungry right now?” 

“More thirsty than hungry.” True, he _ had _ been thinking of getting up for a glass of water, but Rey’s gaze darkened and Ben belatedly realized there was another meaning to that word.

“You know what’s really fun?” she said, smirking. Ben wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to hear the answer. Not when Rey was looking at him like that and he was already itching to go take a very long, very cold shower so that she never had to know how badly he wanted her. 

Unfortunately for him, Rey took his silence as consent. “Masturbating while stoned.”

Oh _ fuck. _ Ben was not prepared for the direction this conversation was quickly headed in. “I. Uh.” He scrambled to find a coherent response, desperate to keep Rey from realizing how much of a creep he was being right now. Was she suggesting that they—right now—? 

If she noticed his current state of distress—although how could she not, really?—she wasn’t bothered by it. If anything, she was leaning in, closer than she was before. “Sometimes, weed make me _ super _ horny,” she confessed.

“Like right now?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Her expression flickered from shocked to delighted to flushed almost faster than Ben’s brain could keep up with. “Perhaps,” she admitted. “If I said yes, what would you do about it?”

“I—” Fuck. There was no good way to answer that question. Even if he wanted to tell Rey every filthy detail of all the things he’d like to do to her, he wouldn’t have known where to even start. Not to mention that he didn’t have any practical experience with any of this, which meant that he knew he’d be terrible at it and the last person he wanted to mess this up with was Rey.

She seemed to realize she’d hit a nerve, because she tensed up and started to back away. “Sorry,” she said. “That was totally out of line. You shouldn’t have to—I mean, you’re my best friend, and—”

“Rey,” he said, grabbing her wrist before she could stand up. “It’s fine. Please don’t leave.” It was like the finger brush earlier, when Rey was passing him the last of the joint. More nerve endings than Ben was ever aware of were tingling just from simple, G-rated contact with Rey’s skin. Judging by the way her breath hitched, she was experiencing something similar. Ben didn’t realize he was staring at their hands until he heard Rey whisper his name and when he looked up, he was startled to realize that she was now mere inches from his face. He still couldn’t quite comprehend the look on her face, but whatever it was, he liked it.

“You know,” Rey murmured, “I’ve never kissed someone while stoned before.”

“Is that a request?” _ Please say yes. Please say yes. _

She was even closer now, the hand he wasn’t already holding reaching up to cup his cheek. “Would you turn me down?" 

He shook his head. “Never.” Fuck, even the simple motion of Rey’s fingers brushing his hair back felt incredible. He wasn’t entirely certain he was safe from doing something completely humiliating, like blowing his load just from a couple of kisses. But he wasn’t making any movement to stop her as she leaned in, close enough that he could almost taste the hint of smoke that lingered. 

“Really?”

Ben would never know how he managed to pull his laggy, weed-laden brain together enough to make the next move. One minute, he and Rey were mere inches apart and the next, she was practically shoving her tongue down his throat.

Well, okay, so there was a little more finesse than that, but the sensations were so overwhelming that Ben didn’t even know how to process any of it. If touching fingers was enough to nearly get him off, he was going to embarrass himself real fast now that he and Rey were actually kissing. He couldn’t stop the moan from escaping when she changed course suddenly, shifting her weight so that she was straddling his lap. “_Fuck_,” he hissed as a whole series of new sensations hit him. There was the warm weight of Rey on his lap, the way she was practically pulling his hair, the mark she was sucking into his neck that hit just the right combination of pain and pleasure and it was so good and almost too much. “Rey, I—” It was nearly impossible to speak, he was so caught up in the kiss he’d been dreaming about for years now.

“Yes?” And here was another new and incredible sensation, Rey whispering in his ear. “What do you want, Ben?”

“_You._” 

A shiver ran through Rey’s body. She tugged even harder on his hair, grinding against him. And _ fuck, _ she was just wearing those thin leggings, surely she could feel—”Oh my god, Ben,” she slurred. He’d heard her say his name a thousand times, but he’d never heard her say it like this. “This feels so good.” 

“I know,” he gasped, unable to stop himself from grinding against her. “_Fuck_.”

“Don’t stop,” she said, writhing against him. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“So do you. _ Fuck_.” He was nearing the point of no return now. “Rey, if you keep doing that, I’m going to—”

“Yes, _ please_.” The sound of Rey pleading with him was nearly enough to make him come, but what finally pushed him over the edge was the way she said, “God, I wanna make you come so badly.” 

“_FUCK._” Holy _ shit_, humiliation had never felt so good. Rey didn’t let up, past the point of overstimulation, but after she’d just made him come the least he could do was repay the favor. He managed to pull himself together enough to kiss her again, sliding one hand between her legs. She was so wet he could feel it through her leggings, and he didn’t have do much more than give her something to rub up against before she came, his name on her lips as she bucked against his hand. 

She pressed her forehead against his as they both caught their breath. “Rey,” he whispered. “That was—” 

“Amazing,” she finished for him. She kissed him again, slower this time, then said, “This isn’t at all how I thought this was going to go. Oh my god.” 

Fuck. Was she already regretting this? “I’m so—”

She didn’t even let him finish that thought. “Don’t you dare apologize, Ben Solo. If anything,” she added a little more softly, “I should be apologizing. _ I’m _ the one who jumped _ you_.” 

“I wanted you to.” It was only four words, but it felt like an entire speech. Whether that was because he was still stoned or because they held so much weight, Ben couldn’t tell. “I’ve wanted this, like, from day one.” 

“Really?” She sounded hopeful as she pulled him closer.

“Really.”

She kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You know,” she mumbled, “we could take this into my bedroom. How do you feel about ringing in your thirtieth birthday in bed with me?”

He almost didn’t have the words to express how those words made him feel. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”


End file.
